Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Passion

This Easter Sunday we were in my hometown so we attended the church that I grew up in. The sermon was about what the cross really means. Through this sermon he really talked about people having certain passions in life. It made me think about what my passions are. Of course my family and friends are my passion, but he was talking about specific passions. Some examples he gave were living in a mulit-cultural area, remodeling an old home, etc. My one passion that came to mind was... adoption. Everyone that knows me knows that my dream since I was a little girl was to have a Chinese daughter. My parents are HUGE supporters of this dream. My brother was adopted at the age of two and it has been a beautiful life for all of us.

My husband is a little more wishy-washy. He is a worrier. He worries about the cultural difference in our small town. He worries about the effect it would have on our other children. He worries about his age. He worries mostly about the time that we would have for four children. He doesn't want anyone to be playing ball, at a gymnastics meet, or a dance recital and their parent not being there. Now on the flip side of this my husbands maternal grandmother was raised in an orphanage until she was married. Five of his eight cousins were adopted. He is familiar with adoption issues so he does worry about that. But he also has seen the joy that it can bring.

Before we were married we talked a little about my passion. It was not a heavy subject, we both agreed that if we were not able to have bio children then adoption would be the next step. Now I still have this passion. I worry that I am being selfish because we are able to have bio children. I would never want to take the spot of a women that is needing adoption for her journey to her child.

So I keep waiting for a "sign" or "red thread". Could it have been the family that walked into church with us, they had three bio children and a Chinese daughter and son? Could it have been the family at the rest stop with the three bio daughters and their Chinese son? And the glance and smile that my husband and I shared upon seeing them. Through my faith I know that eventually I will have the answer I need.




4 comments:

collard green queen said...

I hope all of your dreams come true!

Melanie said...

Please know as a woman who does not have any living biological children, I have never felt that adoption should only be for those who have no bio children of their own, but for those who believe there should be a loving home for every child no matter what race, age, gender they are. We are all God's children. God Bless you for opening your heart to the possibility and I will pray that your hearts guide you in your journey.

On another note...How funny that we have the same magazines:) And I hope that you enjoy your new book!

Kimber said...

I have been EXACTLY where you are! I was on this path LONG before my husband was. I remember asking God to show me a clear sign and He did. And my hubby changed his heart. You can do it. Look at how many of us have! Best wishes to you:)

Chris & Deb said...

Chesnye....adoption is such an amazing blessing!!! If you are thinking about a Chinese adoption.....read "The lost daughters of China" if you have a chance! After my husband and I read that book.....our hearts were right there with those little girls! We pursued an adoption in 2004 and are still awaiting the referral of another little girl. We have never looked back and it has been such an amazing blessing...more than we could have ever asked for!!